THE CAUCASIAN CURSE

How do you make a wedding reception enjoyable for everyone? How do you bridge the gap from your friends to your parents’ friends? Who has the power to determine who will be cutting a rug that evening? Obviously we do, but we tried to be considerate of those who might not have the shimmy they once did or who simply don’t understand the importance of big pimpin’ and spending Gs. We were searching for a way for all the people in attendance to shake a leg. On a particular car ride home, we discussed the mood of our reception, and we agreed that everyone should have the opportunity to dance, if they felt the boogie within them. It then became a matter of creating an environment that would encourage participation of all ages, yet wasn’t like listening to AM radio.

“Will your parents do any dancing?” I asked.

“Probably not much. My mom’s brother will probably make her dance with him, and my dad sometimes makes his dancing face. Will yours?” Christa replied.

“Should I even ask about the dancing face?”

“It’s a tongue over teeth thing.”

“The Caucasian curse has many facets. My dad is encumbered by his center of gravity, which he prefers not to move abruptly,” I replied.

“But will they dance?” she asked again.

“Possibly, but not to anything from later than 1983 or so. My dad likes Neil Diamond, and they used to play ABBA and the Pointer Sisters when I was little.”

As we scanned for radio stations, we came across an oldies station playing “Think,” by Aretha Franklin.

“This is what my mom would like, songs from when she was in her teens and twenties,” I said.

“Why don’t we play oldies? Everyone knows them. They are easy enough to dance to and wouldn’t be objectionable to anyone,” she said enthusiastically.

“Young and old could celebrate equally. The older crowd will probably leave early anyway. Then we can resort to the classics of our generation,” I replied.

Now it seemed only a matter of time before we determined whether the older generation would view the younger as dance-floor compatriots or another spectacle to view from afar. You can lead an older, yet still productive, member of society to the dance floor, but you can’t always make them shake it. And especially not like a Polaroid picture.
- Drew Lloyd
From "Will You?" to "I Do.": A Groom's Tale of Survival